chatting strategies

Hmm, you know what? Today I feel like discussing how I talk to people online.

 Now, texting someone online is way different than face to face conversation, first of all, you can't tell their tone or inflection, their facial reaction, and they might not even respond.

 What I usually do is first introduce myself, just a simple "Hi, I'm jerry" will suffice, and then some small talk to break the ice a little. Then comes a crucial question, "Do you play an instrument? sport? second lang?". 

Now if they answer "no" to all three of these, well then it might be some trouble in finding a common interest. But as long as the other person says yes to one of them, then I can follow up by asking them what it is that they know or play and then say what I play. Following that up with some more small questions related to the general topic at hand, (whatever they said yes to), and maybe branch out a little to ask about their past history or something current like for example I sometimes ask what it is they do during their time at home.

 Oh and then if you like talking to this person, and you think they appreciate talking to you too, then you could ask for their number. Since most of the time the conversations I have are on instagram then I usually say, "can i ask you a question?", and then the feature that instagram has is that it tells you when the other person has read your text, and when they respond, you ask them for their number. This way they're bound to see it and not just leave you hanging if you straight up ask them for it at the start. Trust me, this trick has yet to fail me. 

You could also apply some variations to this tactic, but you can figure those out yourself to suit you with your conversations. Oh and sometimes if the language they know is also one that you know, then you could just start talking to them in that other language, it makes them feel closer to you since you have one more way of talking to each other. 

Now, never let the conversation turn into a one-way lane of you asking the questions and then them answering. You also need to answer the questions that you are asking, otherwise, they might make the impression that they're under interrogation and we don't want that. 

And try not to be overly formal or overly casual, be formal at the beginning and then slowly lower the amount of formality and you begin to get used to talking to each other, then you can start joking about stuff that you would usually talk about with your friends. 

Also strangers are really good if you want to just tell them what's on your mind because you probably won't see them ever so sometimes it helps just to tell someone. And maybe if they feel the same way then you have yourself another common topic to talk about, win-win situation, boom.